emotions

stressed. happy. relieved. hungry. content. bitter. blah.

these are the emotions that i feel in the span of a day, no make that an hour. it seems that everything is happening fast and theres nothing to do but say ok and get on the train thats moving ever so fastly . *that last sentence sounds very pretenious but i have no other way to convey how it feels right now* this ridiculous blog post is to try to relieve some of the anxiety/confusion i'm feeling at the moment, but no worries, this feeling will pass probably before the night is over.

also, halloween is this weekend. let the costumes begin!

happy.

im happy. i saw an amazing episode of doctor who let's kill hitler. i love the rose and other companion shout outs. i love the pyschopathic river song than the normal one. i love the fact i came upstairs to find out that AVPM 3 is happening. i am very content at the moment.

that is all.

ok.

i definately have blog posts from this past week of vacation but i just got back from no internet land. so in the meantime im busy im going to upload stuff and the days, including a video instead.


love my life.

ps my night last night was amazing.

busy.

i have 4 hours of sleep.

i am currently packing cute/practical clothes for boston.

i leave in less than 12 hours.

i have gained weight because i haven't ran but studied instead and this is making me upset and frustrated that my clothes fit way too tight.

i will now leave you with a cute clip arty thing.

stresssed

because my professor wants me to have 8 chapters on my final, he decided to cover 3 chapters in today's 2 hour lesson. my brain was so overloaded I came home ate dinner, and fell asleep for 3 hours. This is unhelpful because I'm def. needing to read these and study because im going on vacation and need to take the final tomorrow.

other than that stressed out paragraph up there, im jsut studying. put my taylor swift playlist on shuffle and im off for the night.

but to share how the entire class looks at any given time heres a picture for you.

beda

techinically when i started this it was august 1st. but by the time i watched videos and read all the blogs then it is closer to 2.
i'm going to try to blog but i probably won't.

all in all august has been a good month.

me and my friends had bollywood night tonight. AMAZING. i laugh so hard until i cried which is normal around these guys.
i also notice there is so much sexual tension between me and this one guy and i think its hilarious. we don't like each other, i don't think, but i wouldnt mind kissing him.

i got into pottermore this morning. i felt sick and surprisingly was up at 5 am. and i got into the registration!!! so excited.

so this is a quick blog to tell you about this more to come hopefully <3

noticing the changes.

i always have thought provoking inspiration at night when i should be sleeping or doing other more productive things. however, i was thinking and i have a new thought for tonight.

why is it when you see a photograph or video of your old self, whether it be really younger or simply a few years, you don't seem like the girl in the picture. you barely remember her or what made her dress or act the way that she did. how did the hopeful girl of your past become the person you are today. why is it when you see a friend's picture before you knew them, it doesn't seem right. when i'm in my 30s, 40s, or older, what will i think of myself now. will i remember my younger self like i do now, or not at all. memory, nostaglia and stories have alwasy enthralled me but its very creepy and unnervving how quickly i am so seemlessly changing/unchanging,

ps. taylor swift's last kiss one of the best songs.

the past week.

the tornados tore through alabama a week ago today. it just so happens this is the first time i've had internet since then. we had no power for 5 of those days. thankfully our house and family were okay, but there were others that were not. remembering and being grateful have been two great qualites of our community.

in a more shallow unrelated comment: i just caught up on the BEDA posts and reading them in order is good, but its more fun waiting each day for the post. like harry potter books, so much better the waiting and anticipating than reading straight through.

tired.

having six hours of sleep, a paper due tomorrow on the day of a HUGE test, and not being able to do anything productive is a slight problem. Another slight problem of mine is doing vlogs and blogs. I literally cant keep my eyes open or force myself to sit at a computer long enough to do anything of quality. Pathetic i know but hey its sort of working out for me so far. a positive thing is i don't have my morning class tomorrow so i will be cramming for everything else.

personal life has been compromised for the past 21 years due to school, softball, and other constraining factors, but esp in the past week. instead of going out with friends like i planned, i fell asleep before we went out and slept for the next 8 hours. there goes that opportunity to dance with said cute boy. i am slowly but surely fixing the situation to a positive one, i hope anyways. i really want a small miralce. yes curing cancer or ending world hunger would be great, but i really want him to like me back.

the last sentence was very selfish, shallow, and completely 100% human girly.

this is hard.

I've done VEDA except for one day which for me is an amazing talent in and of itself. however, these videos have been rough, but i plan to shot a better version of a video soon. im doing veda mainly for me, but maybe for others to see one day. also ive failed at updating this thing bc of said video making, but fear not im still me and am better at writing when im half asleep.

whats been going on with me you say? i didnt get my newest crush in my group but its ok, i'm going to be trying to talk to him more often. and he plays in a softball league so ill be wathcing. i want to have high hopes for this but in the end who knows if it will work out? who really knows all about this. why do humans worry so much. but right now im content with being ALMOST a good friend.

taylor swift has been on replay on my itunes lately, i love her music.

Blog really frequently in April.

I've always wanted to do BEDA or VEDA, but I'm extremely busy. Like nobody's business busy. So this year I'm going to try to combine the two. I'll do a video every time I can and blog whenever i can't video, which might be often since I'll be on the road playing sports every weekend. So things are busy but hey its April and its time to let the internet know all about me.

<3

ps. ive had some profound things from this blog and hopefully they'll be more.

thoughts.

i plan to do a thoughts from places video but i dont have time for anything let alone something fun and creative that i want to do. also ive been just thinking instead of writing the speech i have to deliver in tminus 12 hours.

point one: why do i always fall for the guy who is out of my league. i mean i think we could be lovely together but idk him that well. other than the fact he’s nice, smart, funny, athletic, gorgeous, and overall a guy who is worth my time. i have the goofy grin that i adopt whenever i feel this way. its nothing serious but i want it to be.

point two; why do things have to go from happy happy to sad depressing with the snap of a finger. i want things to be happy all of the time. i understnad with no darkness we’d have no light but i wish things could be as little struggles as possible.

point three: i need to do my homework. i need to make all as and i need to figure out with what im doing with my life when i grow up.

but first things first: back to the boy =)

ps. i need to watch a very potter musical to make me happy.

insomnia.

The title is misleading. I don't have trouble sleeping, I am infact too tired to do anything I need to. I have to study for a test that I have tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment at 8. Practice at 2 or 7. A 5 page paper due on Tuesday.

To add to how tired i am, I walked into a door because i thought it was an automatic.

I want to know why we have to like people who are way out of our league. the best of the best and cute and unobtainable. WHY! needless to say i have it bad for a certain guy, who doesn't even know me at all.

this blog post is random. but what do you expect at 12 am from a sleep deprived, hopeless romantic girl.

<3